December 2011
31 posts
I think there is something wrong with my life. Not that I’m complaining, but everyone who dies in my life is totally a supporting character. Or who dies in the lives of people I know— Like it’s sad for sure, but they were kind of sad anyway. I don’t know. And it’s like “I guess it’s nice it’s worked out like that so far”, but I am suspicious of...
2 tags
There is a live hamster in my house.
Devoted readers will know that I have a hamster named John Hamm. I bought John Hamm one day because I woke up thinking it would be funny to be able to say “oh no thanks, that sounds great but I think I’ll stay in with John Hamm tonight” or “Oh John Hamm, you love to nibble.” I’m easily amused. So I impulse-bought a living creature. It doesn’t seem like...
4 tags
1 tag
What if I started a cult? That would solve all of my life problems. I wouldn’t ever have to get a real job! I wouldn’t even make it that bad for the members, just some shit about love and comets, maybe. It would probably make their lives better, really. And I could talk them into buying me skinny cow popsicles all the time, I bet.
Shell spills 13,000 gallons while drilling near... →
cultureofresistance:
Shell International spilled 13,000 gallons of oil and drilling fluids into the Gulf on Sunday while drilling an exploratory well near the site of last year’s Deepwater Horizon accident, according to a federal report on the spill.
The area where the well was being drilled is about 20 miles from the site of the BP oil spill. Shell is working in water more than 7,000 feet...
Help, I’ve fallen into the watching-whose-line-is-it-anyway-while-stoned abyss and I can’t get out.
You know who would have had a great tumblr? Abraham Lincoln. That guy was wise, hilarious, and who wouldn’t love stories about Tad and crazy Mary Todd in their dash every day? It saddens me that we didn’t have the flu vaccine in the early 1900’s when people with real human lives were dying all over the place, and to a lesser but comparable extent, it saddens me that Lincoln...
“I suppose doing things you hate is just the price you pay to avoid being lonely.”
– Peep Show just gets me.
“So, just so we’re clear: a 15-year-old who had unprotected sex and knows that...”
– Teen Girls Can Suck It: No Morning-After Pill Without Doc’s Consent (via ceedling
)
Oh my god. I just watched like half of America’s Next Top Model for the first time ever and WHAT THE LIVING FUCK. Tyra is like “I wrote a book called Modelland and it’s about these girls going to a very difficult to get into school called Modelland and there is a girl named Tookie who finds herself on a mountain through friendship and embracing her inner beauty.”
Like,...
I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am that I no longer work retail over Christmas.
3 tags
5 tags
7 tags
2 tags
I just saw the word “carrier pidgeons” but in my head I read it as “Scott Carrier pidgeons.”
My mind is a wonderlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand.
2 tags
These things bug me. It’s like the door-maker is asking me to pretend to be stupid. Everyone knows that a good deadbolt is worth ten of these in the same way Adele is worth ten of Zooey Deschanel (i.e. all of the ways). In terms of stopping people from getting into your house, this is the equivalent of putting a post-it note on your door that says “What you’re about to do is...
2 tags
I was trying to watch Half Nelson
But I don’t know if I can even do it, because it’s doing this thing that movies do. They take an incredibly hot person and ask us to pretend, collectively, that this person isn’t incredibly hot. This movie is asking me to believe in a world in which Ryan Gosling is an underpaid inner-city teacher because he has no other options. And if the point of a story is to create a...
3 tags
3 tags
3 tags
I’m studying for my Psychology of Emotion final, by which I mean looking at tumblr on my phone, and there is a researcher who studies blind babies.
Do you get how sad that is? BLIND BABIES ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SADDEST THING IN THE FUCKING WORLD. And she is *choosing* to study them.
That’s like choosing to study miscarried baby seal or baby monkeys with AIDS. What the fuck is wrong...
from a letter to Neon
That’s kind of where I am in my life right now. I thought about joining a dating site, but I feel physically exhausted at the thought of a first date. Having to do some big musical number with Uncle Tom in tap shoes when you really just want to hang out alone and watch Little Rascals (I’m channeling Shirley Temple here). It would be nice to have sex with someone, but everyone I...
I'm just going to be real witchu
Every time I watch a movie alone and people kiss who I want to kiss each other, I react very strongly.
I say “YESSSSSSSSSSSSS” out loud, for example.